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A celebration of parenting failures, hilarious confessions, fish fingers and wine.

January 7, 2017 Lifestyle No Comments Email Email

Scummy Mummies is for anyone who’s ever dealt with a poo in the pool, cleaned up sick in the supermarket, or gone to an important meeting without realising there’s Weetbix stuck to their bum.

Because let’s be honest – no matter how much we love our kids, or how good we are at parenting, everyone’s a Scummy Mummy sometimes.

Ellie and Helen know your secrets. They know you gave the kids fish fingers four times in a row last week. They know you drink wine out of a mug at teatime. They know you forgot your daughter’s name when another mum asked, even though she’s an only child. They know you used one of your son’s toys to fish a poo out of the bath, giving a whole new meaning to the term ‘dump truck’. They know you snuck wine into a classical music concert by hiding it in your child’s beaker, also known as the Tommee Tipsee.

The Scummy Mummies book combines true stories from the authors and personal confessions from real life parents with hilarious quizzes, useful life hacks, and stupid jokes. Scummy Mummies is your guide to getting through the trials and the tantrums of childhood.


“While visiting a bathroom showroom one day, our son wandered off and reappeared a few minutes later. We asked where he’d been, and he told us he’d gone to have a poo, pointing at one of the display loos.

We ran away.”

“I once licked my daughter’s face clean  because I didn’t have any baby wipes.”

“I let the kids set up a little stall outside our house, selling old toys and books for some extra pocket money. Imagine my surprise when the neighbour came knocking at my door holding the new book she had just purchased: ‘How to Pleasure Your Wife.’”

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